


I'm Gonna Build My Boy a Boyfriend - aka Captain's America History - by Howard Stark

by Dark_K



Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-18
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 00:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_K/pseuds/Dark_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard was a bastard, but Tony honestly thought the best thing he might have made in his life was the Captain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which Pepper leaves and the Captain makes warm milk

**Author's Note:**

> I watched Iron Man 1 and 2, and then Captain America, Thor and The Avengers last night and today, and then I decided I was going to write a small ficlet, a page long, maybe two at the most, a funny one, you know?
> 
> This is the result – the first chapter of a romance with a little bit of angst thrown in for spice.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it!

Howard Stark was a ridiculously smart man. He was smarter than anyone he had ever met – with the possible exception of Erskine, who had actually made a serum that could not be replicated, but that was a different kind of cleverness.

Howard was, in reality, a genius. A proper, true genius, with so much smart he could share it with ten people and still have plenty to go around. The one kind of smart he lacked, though, was the emotional one. He had always been crap dealing with people, he would either treat them like objects, or keep them at arm's length because he didn't know how to deal with the feelings and relationships that came with those feelings. It had been that way with his wife, and even more so with his son. After all, a wife and a husband growing apart was not something unusual, but keeping your son away from you was not something one should do, but the thing is Howard never knew how to deal with Tony.

And one of the main reasons for that was simply because Tony was so much more of a genius than he himself was. The boy had built his very first circuit – working and properly engineered – at age four, and had made himself some AI when he was only seventeen. Tony was not normal by any standards - while Howard was smart and capable, Tony seemed to be able to think about ten different things all the time, giving each one just enough attention to get it done perfectly.

While he was little, he was a nightmare-child – up at odd hours at night, always talking and moving things around, driving nannies crazy within days. Maria was never any good at taking care of kids, and Howard, well, at first, Howard thought Tony was amusing. But when he started actually correcting Howard about some things in his projects – and being right about the corrections – and showing his teacher and tutors things his father was doing wrong, and he knew how to do it right, Howard started to… not dislike, but at the very least not be amused by Tony anymore.

It was about this time he started sending Tony to a prep-school – a  _boarding_  prep-school – where he could be smart, but not close enough to Howard to cause him any damage.

He loved his son, by all the gods, he did, but he was just not sure he could continue loving him if he kept his son around.

In all truth, he knew he had always been a wretched father-figure for his son. He had great problems about drinking, the main problem being that he couldn't stop doing it when he should, he didn't know how to deal with people, and he was always ordering someone around, as if the world was constituted exclusively by his employees.

He didn't want his son to be like that, that's why he sent him away.

The fact that he didn't feel threatened when Tony wasn't around was never brought up, not even by himself, alone, at night, in the darkness. Not even when he was so drunk he couldn't think straight.

His life fell apart very easily, and his death was not something he should have been surprised by, even if his last words didn't show it. He died, and along with him, his wife. They were dead, and they had left Tony, alone and cold, behind.

Now, Howard might have never said it to Tony himself, but he  _was_  proud of his son. He didn't like being outdone by a child – let alone  _his own_  child – but he was absolutely proud of the fact that Tony  _could_  outdo him. He truly was.

It was a constant battle, actually, between his father instincts and his – rather large – ego: he didn't want to have anyone smarter than him around, but if there had to be someone, than let it be a Stark of his own creation, damn it.

So that's what was left for Tony to live: a life not knowing much about his parents, thinking his mother cold, and unfeeling and drunk, his father a bastard who didn't even like him, and a company to run, the bane of his very own existence while being the very reason he felt he had a reason to live.

Starks were very smart, but they were also very confusing. And confused.

Tony had very few people in his life in whom he trusted. He trusted Pepper, and also… well. That was it. He trusted Pepper, and that's it. Even after the whole, 'hey, we're a team, let's share a Tower' thing he didn't fully trust any of the Avengers. Especially with the way their track-record went. Natasha had betrayed him once – apart from being a, you know, killer and spy. Hawkeye was too damn frustrating to be trusted, he took his own life as a joke, and Tony wasn't about to trust someone like that with his own life, not fully. Bruce wasn't so bad, and even the Hulk seemed a bit fond of Tony, but they were all a bit weary of the Big Guy, mainly because Bruce himself didn't trust his darker side; and Thor… well, Thor was like an overgrown teenager. He was learning to be mature and responsible and all that, but man, he was annoying, and a bit self-righteous.

Of course that left Captain America to be considered.

At first, Tony wasn't sure he even  _liked_  Captain America – he was too by the rules, too do as you're told to be fully trusted. Steve Rogers, however, seemed like a puppy.

This was it, a puppy, with his lost eyes, and the way he seemed to think of himself as a small, harmless guy all the time he was not wearing his uniform. He would go to the market and come back all flushed and timid because someone recognized him, and he didn't see what was so special about himself.

So, Tony learned how to take apart Steve and Captain, in a way he didn't seem to separate Tony and Iron Man. What he knew, for sure, was that both him and his suit – and Jarvis, apparently – trusted Steve, and were growing fonder and fonder of the Captain as he was learning to let go of his control issues, and assuming responsibility for the Team.

The Team which, by the way, was the reason for his break-up with Pepper. He didn't even know  _how_  that came to be, to be truthful, one minute they were arguing, the next he gave a wrong answer to something – which  _might_  be related to choosing to be Iron Man or her husband, and him choosing the suit without much thought, but he was not sure – and this was it, the end of Tony's steady relationship.

The day Pepper left the tower – Avenger's Tower now, even if Tony liked it better when it was Stark Tower -, Tony had a little bit of a breakdown. There were no tears involved, he wasn't very good at the crying bit, but he waited for everyone to go to bed while he hid in his workroom, and then he went to the kitchen, and tried to find some alcohol. He found a few bottles of whiskey, he turned Jarvis to mute, and he put five of those bottles on the table, and then he sat right in front of them, and stared.

He could drink them all. Drink himself into some kind of stupor, where he could deal with Pepper leaving him – not  _really_  leaving him, she said she would always be there, as his CEO and best best friend, but she couldn't deal with all the stress of being permanently by his side if he was more Iron Man than Tony. He could drink those five bottles in what? One hour? Two, if he didn't mean to get sick. He was pretty good with the drinking part, he had proved time and time again he could drink like the best – or worst? – of them. Like at that birthday party where he thought he was dying still, and he let Rhodey take one of his suits.

They all said his father had always been a bit of a drinker, though. When he was little, very, very little, he thought he wanted to be like his father. When he was older, he concluded he didn't want that anymore, but it seemed, if what he heard about his father and himself, that he was failing miserably. Maybe he should just, you know, end the whole thing, and assume what he was: a more damaged copy of Howard Stark.

His hand was already around the first bottle of the row when the lights were turned on, and a wild Steve Rogers appeared. He was wearing pajamas, and his eyes were red and tired.

It seems it was insomnia night at Avenger's Humble Abode.

The Captain stopped and stared at Tony for a full minute before looking at the bottles disapprovingly.

"Ms. Potts told me you didn't drink anymore," he said, staring at Tony, who shrugged, but put the bottle back on the table. It was one thing to be a coward alone, and another entirely when the leader of your team is staring at you as if he's your teacher, and caught you cheating on your finals.

"Ms. Potts has left the building and my life, so to speak. Maybe I should start a new lifestyle now, Cap. She's gone, so it's a new life for Tony Stark."

"A short one, I'm assuming it'll be", the Captain asked, taking some milk from the fridge and two mugs. He poured the milk in the mugs, and took them to the microwave, carefully pressing the buttons, and then turning it on with a look of deep concentration on his face that made Tony smile a bit despite himself.

Tash had taught the Captain and Thor how to use the microwave a few days before, but Steve still seemed to approach the thing as if it would blow him up if he wasn't careful.

The thing beeped, and Steve took the mugs out, setting one in front of Tony.

"Trade you the bottles for some milk? It might help you sleep."

Tony laughed bitterly at that.

"I do think alcohol will help me fall asleep faster", he replied, but put the bottles a little further than him anyway.

"I said sleep, not fall unconscious or pass out."

Tony didn't answer, he just grabbed his mug and took a sip.

"This thing is  _awful_ ", he said, making a face, and putting the mug on the table before pushing it away from him, as if it might attack him any second, when he wasn't looking.

Steve laughed a little.

"It does taste different than I remember. As if they added some plastic to it", he took a sip, and made a disappointed face, before sighing, and looking at the windows, where the sky was acquiring the very deep shade of blue that comes before sunrise, "Before my mother got sick, she used to make this to me all the time. I was always sick when I was little, she did this for me to help me sleep."

They were in silence for a bit longer, and Tony took another tip of the milk, making another disgusted face.

"My mother… never did anything for me. She used to yell at the nannies, though, when I was up all night, it was wrong, I should sleep, they were incompetent, etcetera, etcetera. Very heart-warming", he finished with a self-deprecating smile.

Steve looked at him and kept silent for a few seconds. It was clear he wanted to say something, but he didn't know if he should.

"You might as well say it, Cap. I'm not in a very combative mood right now, it may very well be the first and last time you can ask whatever it is you want to ask and I won't put on the suit and beat you up for it."

Steve smiled at that, and then sobered up.

"I never imagined… Howard married. Or with a kid. He seemed so in love with his work and all the things he could do with his smartness. I couldn't imagine him falling in love. Having a kid. Raising a son."

"Well, as he never did any of those things, you don't have to worry about misconceptions, Cap. I honestly don't think love was in the equation of my parents' marriage – at least not from what I remember of it -, and he didn't raise a kid. He put me in the world, and the rest was done by the people he paid to do it, and the rest is all on me. I raised myself, because the people around me were idiots."

Steve was silent for a while longer, before he sighed and looked at Tony, sincerity shining in his eyes.

"Well, if you are something you made all by yourself, you did it well."

Tony looked at him as if he was going to say something witty and sarcastic and self-deprecating in response, but in the end, he simply got up and went to leave the kitchen.

"You know, Cap," he said right before he left, "I think the best thing my father may have done in his life is you."

And then he left – taking his milk, and leaving all the bottles.

Steve took that as a victory.


	2. In which the Cap can’t. He just can’t. He can’t even.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The good Captain finds Tumblr.

**  
**

Another thing that Howard had in spades – apart from his burning desire to  _create_  things and a glee to see things go  _boom_  – was obstinacy. He never gave up. He didn't even  _know_  what giving up meant. He had always been perfectly aware of the fact that if it had a flaw he could fix it, if there was a problem he could manage it, if there was a risk he could take it – if it was missing, he could damn well find it.

In 1942 Howard Stark suffered the kind of drawback he never expected to suffer – he lost something, and he could not, for the life of him, find it again.

When he started working with the Military, for the War effort, his only thought was to defend his country – and make lots of profit while at it. When he was assigned to the Super Soldier Project he thought, oh wow, something difficult and a challenge and he thought it'd be great – and for a while it was. Right up until the whole thing went wrong, and they could only make a single soldier instead of an army.

Steve Rogers was a kind-hearted man the likes of whom he had never met before. To be completely honest, he couldn't even  _believe_  the guy was for real. When Doctor Erskine told him about the stunt the guy had pulled with the fake grenade, Howard had actually laughed. When he had seen the man in action, single handedly saving more than four hundred men he admired the guy a great deal. He did things truly from the goodness of his heart, not expecting anything in return.

Howard understood greatness to a point, he could see it in himself sometimes, but nothing like Captain America. The guy was a perfect combination of physical and mental attributes. When the project had started they thought of upgrading a great  _soldier_ , but Erskine made them choose a great  _human being_ , and that made all the difference.

So when Steve Rogers – and those last few minutes had been completely Rogers, and not at all Captain – decided to crash his plane to save the people of the world, he decided he wouldn't rest until they found him again.

He wasn't his best friend, he didn't even know him all that well, but Rogers was pretty much the best thing he had done in all his life, and he wouldn't let his whole work go to waste like that.

Also, he liked to believe that somewhere in the world there would always be a Steve Rogers around, so that people could see that there were some people around who were better than, well, him.

So he searched. He spent millions looking for the Super Soldier, he tried everything he could think of, and he wouldn't give up no matter what – they hadn't found a body, they hadn't found a plane, they hadn't found anything, and, therefore, Rogers was still alive. He knew the good Captain  _could_  survive something like that, he'd been there all along while Erskine was engineering the guy, the regeneration of his cells would keep him alive, if nothing else; especially if he had fallen anywhere  _in_  the ocean, his body would shut down, and he'd be in a state of stasis, waiting.

And Howard was decided to find him – only that didn't go so well for him.

In fact, it went very badly, because another characteristic of Howard's was that he didn't handle disappointment very well. Not well at all.

One of Tony's first – and pretty much only – memory of his parents together was a very loud, very angry, very drunken fight. They were both screaming, and his mother had been overwhelmingly pissed because Howard had missed something or other of theirs – her birthday, their anniversary, something like it – because he was off looking for Steve. She had accused him of many things, and his only answer were laughs, a few more drinks and him pointing out that yes, he was all those things, and she had known that when she married him. What  _really_  set him off, though, was when she said it seemed as if he loved Steve more than anyone else – herself and their son included. Then he lost it and accusations flew around, and a  _lot_  of information a young mind like Tony's shouldn't have listened to came to light.

The point is Tony always kept that image, his father and mother fighting over a missing Steve he had no idea who was. When he grew up, he learned who Steve was, and the fight was remembered as a distant unpleasant memory as so many other he had from his parents.

And now the very Steve his father had spent a good chunk of time and money looking for was sitting at the breakfast table, staring into a Stark Phone, looking, at the same time, amused, worried and pissed – or as pissed as Steve would get.

"What's up, Cap?", Tony asked, going straight to the coffee pot, and filling up the biggest mug he could find.

Steve looked up, and looked like he was going to ask something about last night, but though better of it, and gave Tony half a smile.

"I'm having a bit of trouble with this phone. Clint told me I could use it to check the news and such, but it's not making much sense – the screen has frozen, and I can't seem to make it work."

Tony sat down beside him and took the phone off his hands, making a tsking sound as he looked at it.

"That's because this is a SHIELD issued phone, and they don't exactly spend a lot on this things, just enough to get by. You tried accessing too much information and the poor thing is overwhelmed. I can get you something better, but while I work on it, just… have lots of patience, and work a single screen at a time."

He handed the phone – unfrozen – back, and Steve thanked him. Tony was trying to think of something to eat, he should probably eat, Pepper always reminded him of eating, but she wasn't here anymore, and he was  _not_  going to die of starvation because his girlfriend had left him. I mean, if he didn't eat, the others would take that as a sign of depression because of the break up, and he wouldn't have that.

He just wouldn't.

It never occurred to him that not-eating was such a frequent habit for him that his eating would cause the same conclusions, but no one was complaining.

He finally selected a few pop-tarts, and sat down with his coffee, eating silently, watching as Steve hit a button and then waited for a few seconds before continuing.

"What are you looking for, anyway? We get the paper and there's News on the TV all the time, if you get the right channel."

Steve looked up and shrugged, blushing just a tiny little bit.

"I want to know what people are saying about us. Clint was reading something last night that made him have a laughing fit, and he wouldn't let me see it. It was about us, because I saw just a bit of the picture, and it was a piece of my uniform, and now I'm curious."

Tony laughed a little.

"It's probably just some fangirl site, Cap, don't worry."

"What's a fangirl site?", he asked, furrowing his eyebrows a bit, looking from the screen to Tony and back again.

"It's a site where people go to say… nice things about the people they admire. Like a fanclub, but online."

Tony hoped to God that explanation was enough. The poor Cap wasn't ready for the fans nowadays.

"Oh, okay. But I still want to see what they're saying about us. How do I do this? Natasha said I just had to type in the words I'm looking for. That would be 'Avengers' and 'Steve Rogers'," Tony laughed a bit, and Steve got a mischievous look on his face, "and, just for fun, let's see what they have to say about 'Tony Stark'."

Tony opened his eyes wide, and started shaking his head no.

"Cap, I don't think you should look for our names together like that, you…"

"Oh my god, what is THIS?", the good Captain said, and Tony sighed.

This was it. The internet would break what seventy years in the ice hadn't.

"This… what?", he asked, waiting for a response.

"Me and… you… and we never DID that, how they can have a picture of it?"

Tony took a look at said picture over Steve's shoulder, and had to hold in a laugh.

Oh, well, it seemed like Steve had gone straight to the goldmine, and Tumblr was now calling him.

"It's image manipulation. Any kid with an image editor can do that, don't worry, Cap, no one is going to think you have an affair with me."

Steve was still shocked, and reading the tags and posts and notes related to the image.

"They are  _encouraging_  it."

"That's what fangirls do, yup.", Tony said, "Before you came around, they used to do that with me and Happy. Or me and Pepper, which, sadly, is no longer happening.", he shrugged again, getting a slightly troubled look in his eyes, but Captain America wasn't paying attention.

"How come there's no one to… control this? We're people. I can't… I can't… I just can't. I can't even. Just can't.", he babbled on, still looking through the pages and pages of material, and Tony laughed.

"That's actually fangirl terminology, Cap. If you start saying things about your feels, I'll start a Tumblr account for you."

Steve suddenly looked up from his screen, and eyed Tony suspiciously.

"Aren't you bothered?"

"By made up pictures of a faked relationship with the number one dear hero of America? Not really", he shrugged and finished the rest of his coffee, "I've been through much,  _much_  worse where the internet is related."

"I don't mean just that, but that it's…  _us_? It doesn't bother you?", Steve looked at the same time hopeful and confused, and Tony took his mug to the sink – completely off behavior for him, but he had to have something to do with his hands while having this conversation.

"Not really, no. Why, does it bother you? Is this the out of time thing? Because in 1942 men didn't love men and all that crap?"

"Well, not really the out of time, but that you are not… I mean, you're not… interested in men like that", Steve finished, looking at the table top.

"And you are?", Tony said fast, and Steve got bright red, making Tony laugh, "Just kidding, Cap. And I don't know if I'm not. I just haven't tried it yet. Maybe I will, I mean, women are  _obviously_ way more than I can handle", he finished with a small sad smile, and Steve just stared at him, not knowing what to do.

The images had left him pretty obviously shaken – however, he continued looking through them, and fumbling about the site, because there were some amazing art works there, and he liked to draw a lot.

They stayed in silence for a while longer, Tony having his second and third cup of coffee, when they finally heard the sharp sound of Natasha's heals coming their way. She had just barely entered the kitchen, when Steve, still squinting to the screen of his phone, asked, in a curious and innocent voice.

"Hey, Tony, what's a  _Stony Slash fanfiction?"_

Natasha stopped on her tracks to the cupboard, and looked at the two of them sharply, leaving immediately.

Tony could have  _sworn_  he heard her say "Clint  _must_  be here for this conversation" before he turned to Steve again.

How was he going to explain that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so NOT what I was planning to do, but it felt nice. Tumblr and fanfiction in poor Captain's mind, what will he do now?
> 
> And what do you guys think of a Steve POV in this? How are you liking it so far?
> 
> Let me know!
> 
> REVIEW!


	3. In which Tony actually has a pretty good idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One single warning: this story is very bipolar.

The times which Howard spent with Tony when he was a child had been few and far between, but they did happen, occasionally. Before everything got confusing for Howard, and he started envying his son's smartness and intelligence, and, well,  _pure genius_ , he liked to watch the kid from time to time, and even tell him stories.

One of the few that Tony could easily remember was about how Steve didn't know what fondue was. And how he confused fondue with something else, and that something else had eluded Tony for many, many years.

Now, Tony didn't get what the fondue was, and he had even less of an idea of who that Steve had been. When he had seen the fight between his parents, and heard the name Steve, he actually could put the dots together and understand that Steve was actually a good person, because his father  _liked_  to talk about him, and the stories where Steve appeared were always the ones Howard was happy to tell.

Therefore, Tony concluded that Steve had made his father happy, and then disappeared. After that, Tony had hated Steve for many years, but soon his father was sending him away, and he was barely seeing his father or mother at  _all_ , and he had found someone else to hate – and more destructive ways to express all that hatred than stomping his foot.

When he became the Ironman, when he had actually trusted and believed for the very first time that he was completely free of his father's image and legacy being projected on him, he felt free. He felt new. He was ready to take on the world, with Pepper by his side, inside his crazy suit.

And then Fury happened. Him, and the Tesseract, and the guy in the blue spandex uniform coming right out of 1942 to bring back all sorts of unhappy childhood memories, and all kinds of derogatory comments about him and his life style, and even had the gall to say his father would have disapproved of something or other that he had done.

It's got to be said, though, that the Captain never said those kinds of things to hurt him, or to make him feel bad – for Captain Steve Rogers, Howard Stark was the guy who helped turn him into more than a scrawny kid with a hero complex, a friend, the guy who trusted him enough – or was crazy enough – to believe he could save four hundred soldiers all by himself. The guy who had made his shield, and smirked when he and Peggy had been in the same room together, watching the tension with amusement. But for Tony, Howard was the man who couldn't stand him, who he thought actually despised his own son, just to find out later his father was kind of impressed with him, and believed in him, but was even more fucked up about emotions than he was, and so that had been crap about their relationship. Things were very difficult for Tony where Howard was involved – but they seemed to be the easiest ones for Steve. And so when the guy compared him to his father, it was as a compliment, but Tony failed to see it as that, and that might have been why, even after they had saved the world together, and moved into the Avengers Tower together, they had bickered a lot, and fought a lot, and just disagreed a lot in general.

But Tony had to admit, the guy did seem to brighten up the atmosphere when he was around. When he had found the good old Captain with his phone, three days ago, and that led to him explaining what  _slash_  meant, he thought the guy was going to spontaneously combust he blushed so much. He was very,  _very_  conscious, right at that second, that the Captain had never had sex. And as far as he knew, had never even kissed someone properly. That was just sad.

So he really didn't think much about the whole situation, except to laugh occasionally when he remembered the Captain's face listening to the meaning of words like 'smut' and 'threesome' and what, exactly, it meant when their names were written with slashes between them – as in  _Captain America/Ironman/The Hulk_.

Even if Tony himself had to admit the idea of that story had been scary, because, come on, the Hulk was… well. Anyway. He didn't think about it anymore, though.

In retrospect he should have. He really,  _really_  should have.

Because Steve did.

**X**

Steve Rogers had gotten himself a tablet. One, because Fury had pretty much just held it out to him and said 'take it', and he didn't know how to refuse, and two because Clint was with him, and he had said those things were better to navigate the internet than his crappy phone.

And Steve had found out he quite liked the internet.

There were all kinds of art there, Clint had said, amateur and works of great artists, the classics, new ones, and the ones who had become legends during the time he was sleeping. He could look through them, and he could read the news, and talk to the other Avengers, even when they were away – not that they did that much, but still. Ti was dead useful, Hawkeye pointed out.

The one thing he did with his tablet once he was alone, though, was actually look though fanfiction archives. At first because he was incredibly intrigued by the things he had seen a few days ago, on his phone, but more importantly, he was intrigued to see  _why_  people thought he could be with Tony Stark. Or  _why_  they thought Tony Stark would ever be interested in him.

He wasn't used to the whole media thing nowadays – sure, he had been all over the screen back in the times of war, making movies, and posters, and shows, but people were a little bit more discrete about their interests back then. He supposed girls thought him attractive, but because he was a soldier, and honestly, he hadn't given any of them much thought, because back then only Peggy existed in his world. He had never had the time to stop and think about other people  _that way_. It was always the war, and the soldier, and saving people, and destroying Hydra, and he had only ever gotten kissed twice, and one of them he didn't even enjoy it, because he sure as hell didn't like the girl that had kissed him, and the second was just rushed, and, after all, a bit overshadowed by the battle that followed.

And then he was in the ice, and when he woke up there were naked people everywhere, and some people still thought men shouldn't be with men, and women shouldn't be with women, but the society was beginning to learn, so mostly, it was okay. Clint had told him that only dicks and stupid people thought that was wrong anymore, and everything was confusing, because the world was going through a calm week, and he had had three days to just think about things, and he started thinking about Bucky a lot, and then Howard, and that's when he got the tablet, and there he was, in his bed at an ungodly hour of the night, browsing through some site, about to read why he loved Tony Stark in those people's minds.

And boy did they make sense.

He couldn't quite see himself as those girls and boys saw him – all muscle and rough voiced and tall and handsome; and he  _certainly_  didn't see Tony the way some of the writers did, as delicate or small or anything else to that effect, but some of the things they wrote about them made so much sense.

When he read one that was describing, in details, what sex with Tony was like, he actually closed the tab and turned off his tablet, turned off the light, and blushed in the darkness. Because that had gotten him more turned on then thinking about Peggy naked, and he truly didn't know what to think about himself anymore.

But one thing he decided right there and then: no more fanfiction for him. Ever.

The only trouble was, when he got to the kitchen the very next day, Tony Stark was there, grasping a huge mug of coffee, and Natasha was leaning on the counter, drinking some tea, and all he could think when he looked at Tony was,  _ohmygodhedoeslooknice_.

So he tucked tail and ran, because he could face fights with guys four times his size when he couldn't beat up a small dog, but he had never,  _ever_  been good at dealing with his feelings.

Blushing and scared, he ran away.

**x**

Tony was actually worried about the Captain. He had been just fine up until he had gone to SHIELD with Clint, and now the super soldier didn't seem to be able to look at him without running away, and that was annoying as hell, because the man actually wasn't so bad, and he needed to talk to someone who wouldn't be mean and sarcastic to him every once in a while, and Pepper was not in any position to answer his calls, and Banner had gone to some damn third world country to get the rest of his stuff, after he finally decided to move in with them, and he wanted to talk to the Captain, only he couldn't because the man wouldn't look at him.

It was  _irritating_.

So, yeah, he decided to trap the Captain in the kitchen with him when he heard the man walking there in the middle of the night. He went in, and when the super soldier was just about to tuck tail and run, he made Jarvis close the door, and not open it again.

Leaning on a counter, he turned to Captain America with his best grin.

"So, Cap, care to tell me why you are running away from me?"

The man  _blushed_.

"I'm not running away from you."

"Really?" He asked, disbelief clear in his tone, "So why the hell you run away every time I come into the room? Did I offend you somehow, because I do that a lot, and it doesn't mean anything, I don't even think about half the things I say – actually, way more than a half, I hardly think about what I'm saying  _at all_ , that's why I'm always being sued, and Pepper is always so mad at me."

The Captain actually smiled at that, and Tony thought that was a little bit of a victory.

"It's not you, it's…"

"If you say  _it's me_  I'm going to think you're breaking up with me, and Captain, we are so not there yet. Pepper broke up with me not even a week ago, I don't think I can take it." He said with mock hurt, and a hand flying to his arc reactor.

Unexpectedly, Captain America blushed again, and looked down, and then went to the fridge, and then to a cupboard, apparently just to have something to do with his hands.

"Come on, Cap, give me something here, we're a team, Fury already think I'm the flaw in his perfect plan, don't give him more ammunition against me than he already has."

Steve took a deep breath and tried to look at Tony, but couldn't, so he settled for looking at Tony's feet.

"I read a few." He said, with a tone of voice of someone who was actually admitting to something very bad, and it confused the hell out of Tony.

"I'm gonna need a few more vowels here, Cap. What did you read that made you run from me? The news?"

"Fanfiction." The man finally said, risking a glance at Tony's face, before crossing his arms in front of his chest, and looking down again, "The slash ones, with you and me."

Tony was, for once, speechless. Holy  _cow_  he would never have thought the Captain had it in him.

Rogers, though, seemed to take his silence as disapproval instead of astonishment, and started apologizing.

"I really didn't mean to, I was just curious, and, honestly, half the things I read aren't even  _possible_ , I don't think, and… and… I just… I was curious, how could they think we would work out? Come on, we're not couple material, but then I read them, and some of them actually caught you spot on. I don't know about me, because they were way too focused on how the serum had affected my… things, but I read them, and I keep thinking about them, and now I'm really confused and embarrassed, and I am really sorry, it's just that looking at you reminds me of the stories, and I get all confused, all over again."

Tony was, again, speechless. The Captain had, in the middle of his apology, sat down in the kitchen chair, and now had his head in his hands, and was looking down. From what Tony could see of his face, he was red to the roots of his hair, and trembling.

The man could face all sorts of enemies, and fight any kind of battle, but was just  _that embarrassed_  because, apparently, he had a fanfiction-induced crush on Tony Stark.

Never let it be said Tony's life was unsurprising.

"Well, I don't think that is at all surprising, I am, after all, quite sexy and smart and charming." That actually got a strangled laugh out of Rogers, "You know, Captain, this means, well, it doesn't have to mean anything. Come on, have you never watched porn? It's the same thing! Only with someone you know, only that's not really  _me_ , because the ones who were writing don't know me."

The Captain kept quiet, and Tony could see his face getting even redder. Oh, yeah.

"You actually  _have_  never watched porn, right? That's gotta be bad. I mean, if you're into that kind of thing. Your life is a bit messed up, isn't it?"

Steve raised his head, and stared at Tony incredulously.

"That's  _not_  how you comfort someone." His tone was disbelieving, and Tony actually laughed a bit.

"I know, I wasn't trying to comfort you, I'm no good at that. Why, do you need to be comforted? I can try, I usually buy something very expensive, what do you want?"

Steve was still looking at him as if he couldn't believe him.

"You know, some of those stories really did get you." He looked down, and his whole body seemed to be closing down on him, making him colder and older, a man closed out of his time, all alone.

It actually made Tony's heart ache just a little.

"I wonder if they got me right too." He said very quietly, and Tony stopped with the small smile that was still dancing on his lips.

"What did they say about you? Were they mean? Because if they were, they had no right to be, you're amazing, Cap."

Steve scoffed.

"I don't know about that. And they said a lot of things, some good, others not so much, but I don't… feel like any of them. They don't get me, I guess, mostly because I'm not… I'm not from here. It's so confusing, you have no idea. Waking up, not knowing where I am, and what I'm supposed to do, and even if you guys explain things to me time and time again, I'm still confused and lost sometimes. Sometimes I wake up in the morning forgetting about all of you, I'm thinking that I'll have a mission, that Bucky will be on the cot beside mine, that Peggy will be answering the phone when we establish communication, that Hydra is still out there." Rogers was looking through the windows now, and Tony could see he really, really needed to get this out, and suddenly felt very inadequate to be the person who was listening to Captain America have a nervous breakdown. He wasn't good at this, Cap deserved someone better to listen to this. "And then those few seconds go by, and I listen to Natasha cursing, or Clint laughing, or you arguing to some piece of machinery, and I feel lost. I want to  _belong_  somewhere. I spent most of my life just wishing I could make a difference, I could be the one person everyone could count on, because for so long nobody could depend on me, not even myself, and now that I actually am that guy, I wish… sometimes I just wish I had never gone to all those attempts to get into the army, because then I would have stayed where I belong, in the past."

Tony didn't know how to answer to that. And as always, his mouth was way faster than his brain, and let me tell you, that was a lot of fast going on.

"And you got to thinking about all of this because you read about us having sex?"

That startled a laugh out of the Captain, and Tony could see how very close they were, and how his eyes would sparkle in the artificial light.

"Not just that, but yeah."

"So, you're crushing on me." He said with a smirk, and the Captain blushed again, but held his ground.

"I'm not  _crushing_  on you. I was curious because the stories were well written." He got a pensive look on his face for a few seconds. "Well, some of them were."

Tony smiled, and it wasn't strained or fake or mocking, it was just a smile.

"You know, Cap, you do belong here."

"You really think so?" he asked, looking insecure and fragile and lost and hopeful as no man over 6 foot had any right to look.

So Tony took the plunge, like he had done with his new suit when Loki threw him out of Stark Tower, and like he had done in that cave. He just closed his metaphorical eyes, and took the metaphorical plunge.

"Yeah, I really think so." He said before he got just a tiny bit closer, closed his eyes, and covered the Captain's mouth with his own.

It was awkward. He was standing, and the Captain was sitting, so he pulled the man up, and that made it all the more strange, because now the Captain was taller than him, and he had never had to tilt his head  _up_  to kiss anyone, it was weird, but a good kind of weird, after he considered it for a few seconds.

Also, he noted, Rogers wasn't kissing him back yet, but he hadn't pushed Tony away.

Tony pulled himself out of the kiss, and looked at the Captain, and the man still had his eyes closed. Taking that as a sign that he wasn't going to be beaten up for his daring, he kissed him again, pushing him against the table, evening their heights, with the Captain's legs pulled apart, and Tony between them.

And this time, well, this time Captain America decided to do this duty, and kissed him back.

He tasted like tooth paste, as he hadn't had the time to actually consume anything in the kitchen before Tony had cornered him, and it was good, and refreshing, and strange, but the best kind of strange Tony had ever felt. Suddenly there were hands in his hair, and he dared run his own hands under the Captain's shirt, and got a strangled kind of surprised noise out of the man, and  _geez_  but this was  _fun_.

So much fun.

After a few seconds, though, he felt the Captain pull away, and when he opened his eyes, he saw a sea of blue staring back at him.

But that didn't count as a bad sign, because, well, the man's hands were still on his shoulders, and he looked a bit confused, but not mad.

"I think I am crushing on you after all." He said, his voice hoarse, and Tony felt a shiver of anticipation run down his spine.

"I'm going to call you Steve from now on." he said, before kissing the man again.

Definitely the best thing his father had ever, ever done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaay, so this was it, just the Epilogue, and we are done.
> 
> It was supposed to be a oneshot, but oh well.
> 
> What did you guys think?
> 
> Let me know!
> 
> REVIEW!


	4. Epilogue - In which things end and it isn't sad

Howard never really thought much about what Tony would be when he grew up. He never worried about Tony's future, or what Tony would become as a man – if he was going to be straight or gay or bi. If he would like dark colors or light ones. If he would want to work at Stark Industries, or if he would throw his life away spending every cent in his bank accounts and getting drunk all day long.

He knew Tony was smart, and he believed in him. He had a vague awareness that Tony would make him proud someday, that Tony would finish what he had started, his search for better technology, for a better world in a way.

Howard always saw Tony in the bigger picture.

It was very hard for a man like him to identify small matters, to worry about them, even acknowledge them. He was always able to see the great scheme of things, how this or that action would affect the future ten, fifteen, fifty years from the now, from the present.

That's pretty much why Howard had never wondered if Tony would be  _happy_.

If he had, though, at some point, stopped working long enough to think about his son's future in a matter of personal happiness, he would never had guessed how truly happy Tony is now.

How truly happy and glad and content and in love  _he_ , indirectly, had made his own son.

Steve was not perfect, and that made him all the more perfect in Tony's eyes. That first kiss was followed by a few awkward moments in front of the other Avengers, and a long talk with Fury, and a strange yet heartwarming acceptance from their team.

They had gotten together, and they both were pretty sure they were never letting the other go.

They fought, and argued. Sometimes Steve was just too uptight, and Tony was just too overwhelming, but they could make it through, as long as they had each other. There were tense moments, when Steve talked about Howard, or when Tony made some joke about the 40s, but they could let the small matters go.

They had each other after fights, and they had each other's backs during them. They were part of a team, and they could always work to make them greater and better.

What Howard and Erskine and Yinsen and Pepper had started, they had managed to finish.

What was good had become great. What was contentment had become true happiness. What was a team had become a family.

They believed in each other.

And it was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!
> 
> Now I'm going to go and write Hurricane.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this one!
> 
> Thanks for all the reviews and kudos and favs and alerts!
> 
> REVIEW!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't even ASK what's going through my mind. It's just, I needed some Stony too. I won't abandon Hurricane, for those of you who are reading it, and I promise at least a chapter a week for this one too.
> 
> Did you like it? Are Tony and Steve convincing enough? I still think I'm not getting Tony right.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> REVIEW!


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